The term Oedipus complex by Sigmund Freud states (male children are attracted to the mothers, whereas boy children are attracted to their fathers). However one cannot draw conclusions that conflicts between mom and her girls is based on the above analysis. This cat and dog relationship is most often misinterpreted as jealousy or at times with a label on mom as “over controlling”.
What many are blind to see is the fact that,Mom has been out there before the children were born. She is a witness of social change and makes continuous assessment of its impact of her children. She believes she has much experience in the things that surround relationship better than the children even if she does not practically follow them. She considers her self the best adviser and advocate for her children. Surrounded by some unfortunate circumstances, tragic events of her life or bitter experiences in life, she is compelled to adopt a new character or behavior to resist harm especially on her girl children from going through these same experiences.
Being endowed with a natural strong sense of perception, Moms can distinguish good men from evil men without any evidence to prove the reason. Mom can sense trouble years before it eventually take place.
Mom is therefore simply playing her role to avoid the guilt of negligence. Mom just wants to be proud of her children and be assured that their future is bright and secured. This is a true and genuine love that is misunderstood for jealousy, or over controlling (though others do go too far).
These are simple basics we can share with friends and families that will rebuild family bonds and serve as an eye opening to the importance of children communication with mom.
Although we may differ on this topic, I strongly believe family bonds cannot be strengthened through blaming or fighting but through respect for mom, openness to mom, understanding her intentions and continuously pursuing peace at all times, making efforts to resolve conflict professionally and prayerfully. Moms love to be loved and Moms love to be cared for by the children and above all mom loves to see children excel in every sphere of life.
The importance of this topic is to change our perception of mom and initiate a new environment of peace love and harmony especially between mom and her girl children. We can readdress these issues by practically and consciously applying the following.
Change the way you see your mom today(one with good intentions for me)
Change the way you address her today (your tone with mom, curse words? a no no
Make adjustments on your communication style today(right communication at the right time and right place will command a listening ear to your needs and demands.
Move from blame to see beauty behind her ideas( she bore me and went through it all just for me)
Seek spiritual and professional counsel about Mom. (pastor or family therapists can be of help)
Support mom to overcome her own challenges. (Have you ever found out why she may be too tough on you or what she went through in her life? Try to know how she feels.
Show her your love and care (Don't wait till mothers day to offer her a gift for little gestures move her heart.
Finally, Pray for mom to be changed and to live long.
Mom just loves you and Mom is not Jealous .
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